Thursday, February 13, 2014

Medicine for melancholy.

Years ago I watched Medicine For Melancholy with my friend. At the end we both agreed it sucked. "Seriously, dude? A movie about two people doing boring shit?" (It's safe to say we were talking from a place of privilege and not appreciating the good thing we had with one another at the time.)

Fast forward, 3 years... I revisited it and fell in love. Not just with the cinematography or soundtrack or backdrop but with the concept. An aspirin for mundane life. A respite from loneliness. That's what it was all about.

Whenever I embark on mini adventures or indulge in simple pleasures and always think "medicine for melancholy." Today I needed some in the worst way so I trekked on over to the Indianapolis Museum of Art. The grounds are gorgeous in every season. Even in the absence of foliage, with everything blanketed in snow, I felt peaceful and spacious. Not to mention the greenhouse, the happiest of places. The warmth, the smell, the plant's loving vibrations... all absolute heaven. I appreciated the quiet, the rest. Today was a good day. I made it so.

When everything feels off balance, there is always room in my heart for nature.


Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Lonely, lonely, that is me. (A list.)

*I'm still adjusting to short hair! It looks like a crazy wig to me right about now. Yikes.
*I really hope it helps a child who is facing hair loss though. I'll grow more.
*I want an expresso machine. (Cause you know we don't have any coffee making paraphernalia.)
*I can't wait for this month's book club! We are starting Women Who Run With The Wolves. Such a powerful book. I hope its transformative for us as a group.
*“A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double.”- Toni Morrison
*My sister told me I'm an introvert. Dude. I never even realized it. lol All this time I've been under the false impression I'm super extroverted and outgoing. Why? I'm totally not.
*I got my rad shirts from Stay Home Club and I want to wear them every day but that's bad. Guess that means I need to order more.
*"Water, water on the seeds, to my left they rose and leaf, to my right cross seven seas..."
*I need to take a hiatus from shopping. I went to Tarjay for butter and eggs and came out with 4 Peter Pilotto items. And you know I didn't need them. Especially considering I bought swimwear and its below 0.
*"Intimacy is not a happy medium. It is a way of being in which the tension between distance and closeness is dissolved and a new horizon appears. Intimacy is beyond fear."- Henri Nouwen
*I'm sort of sad about not seeing Gregory Porter for Valentines Day. The work train doesn't slow down for anyone though. Nofuckingbody.
*I am going to see a Sriracha documentary next week though. Alone at that. It makes me laugh, this isolation. 
*I want to take time lapse photography of plants. Goal.
*I'm grateful for some sunny days. Cold and gray is double the insult.
*"Paper, paper obsolete, how will you reach out to me... I thought you'd ask me not to leave... lonely, lonely that is me..."
*We've got a new baby in the family! I love Max already.
*I'm glad (most days) that I'm doing tarot again. I've been on the verge of making some impulsive decisions and then done tarot. It's kind of talked me down from the edge.
*Life goes on, with or without us.
*I got a hoop nose ring which I LOVE. It fell out while I was washing my face yesterday though. Looks like I need a different style.
*I've been all about baked goods of late. My mid section is looking the part, too. The act of baking (and consuming) is an odd form of therapy.
*"Distance makes the heart grow weak so that the mouth can barely speak, except to those who hide their needs, and I have read the golden seal, that tells of how the seedlings feel, reminds my heart that love can yield…"
*The appeal of wearing pajamas most every day, all damn day has worn off.
*I finally took some photos for my sad little vintage shop. Just maybe I'll get around to sprucing that place up.
*Glen Livet is my man friend. He hugs me so good and tight. I can't run into his arms every night though. Overkill.
*I want to make heart shaped biscuits. I made heart shaped lavender shortbread and it was the jam.
*I love heart shaped items. They just make me happy and shit.
*I need to take all of the happiness I can find cause SAD is kicking my ass like it stole something.
*Why can't I sing like Jill Scott?!? Let's all agree that life is unfair, ummkay?
*I had myself all hyped up to undertake a project I reallllly feel strongly about and then chickened out. I don't know how to make other people feel comfortable and good when I don't feel that way myself. I've gotta pull it together.
*Have you ever wished you could cry and it just won't.happen?
*"Waste all your time writing love songs but you don't love me, all too familiar when it feels wrong, I think you're just lonely..."
*I miss my sister.  I miss my grandparents. I often feel like I'm floating endlessly in an odd, scary place. 
*We're going to sell Matilda (my trailer) when it warms up. With Nick's businesses and my redirection work wise it just doesn't make sense to keep her.
*If I'm going to feel better I need to focus on other people vs myself. Operation Valentine's Day Care Package is underway. I'll send some goodies off today to my sweets that aren't at arm's length. 

Monday, February 10, 2014

Love: Lotion Bars

My kitchen is the warmest room in the house. It is also the place I feel least depressed. This is actually yielding some positive results. These super easy lotion bars are one of them! I got this recipe from Wellness Mama and you can find it here

I'll give you the short version because, dudes, it really is easy and takes almost no time to whip up a batch. (And by a batch I mean one silicone mold worth cause that is what I freaking had. They are luckily hearts. All Valentines-y and ergonomic and shit. Score.)

1/3 cup coconut oil
1/3 cup cocoa butter (But you could use mango or shea or a combination)
1/3 cup beeswax
Essential oil for scent of your choice. (I didn't add any because I got some kick ass fresh cocoa butter from Good Earth and it smells incredible.)

I melted these goodies in a double boiler and then poured them into my silicone mold. The above amount fit perfectly. I don't know why, I'm no mathlete. Heaven smiled on my wretched (and ashy) soul. 

I allowed them to set over night but I made a second batch the next day while waiting on some banana bread to bake and I popped them out within an hour. I am storing them all in a tupperware container in two layers on parchment paper in the freezer until we are ready to use them. 

I have been using one for the past couple days and amazeballs. Yes, just amazeballs. They feel amazing on your lips, too. You could even just use these for that purpose. I'm a fan.

Make some if you wanna. They are fool proof. No lie.


Sunday, February 9, 2014

If these thoughts interest you for even a moment...

A person who eats meat
wants to get his teeth into something
a person who does not eat meat
wants to get his teeth into something else
if these thoughts interest you for even a moment
you are lost.

Leonard Cohen, from Selected Poems 1956-1968

Saturday, February 8, 2014

It really is the best coffee cake...ever.

I've got the winter blues. Scotch doesn't help. Reading doesn't help. Funny movies don't help. Flowers barely help. I've resorted to baking and jazz. The worst summer of my adult life I turned to gardening as therapy, I figure this can't be much different. 

Last night I was laying in bed looking for recipes and stumbled upon the best coffee cake (ever) on The Pioneer Woman Cooks. She didn't lie. It was the best coffee cake I've ever made with my own two hands and quite possibly the best I've ever tasted. I bullshit you not. 

I followed her recipe to the letter except for the 1 1/2 cups of pecans. (I only had sweet n spicy pecans and didn't want to use those.) I instead subbed about 3/4 of a cup of Bear Naked Maple-icious Pecan Granola. Loooooove. The perfect addition of oats and nuts. 

The egg whites were ingenious and made for such a fluffy cake. (Even with the heavy topping.)

While this definitely isn't a diet friendly option we absolutely loved it. I can't wait to make it for a pitch in or a brunch. 

Have you baked anything lately? Any recipe suggestions? I'm not joking. I'm going to bake something every day until I feel better. (Pray for my waistline and my sanity.)


Friday, February 7, 2014

Body butter, baby.

I've attempted to make body butter a few times over the past couple months with no luck. I either ended up with something too oily, too mushy, or too hard. Nothing just right. Victory is mine today! I finally have an all natural, moisturizing, (winter) shelf stable body butter and I feel oh so freaking good. Serious dudes, I slathered my body and just laid in bed in a happy fog earlier. 

Here's the recipe so you can make your own!!

1/2 cup shea butter
1/2 cup cocoa butter
1/2 cup mango butter
1/2 cup sweet almond oil
1/4 cup beeswax (I used white pastilles because that's what I have on hand.)
10-30 drops of the essential oil(s) of your choice for scent if you so choose

That's seriously it.

I combined then melted all of the ingredients minus the essential oils in a double boiler. Once everything was melted I allowed it to cool a bit. (Probably about 5 minutes.) I then transferred the mixture to my Kitchen Aid bowl and then cooled it all in the fridge for about a half hour then whipped it for roughly 10 minutes just like you would butter until it was light and airy. I put it back in the fridge for about an additional 10 minutes then scooped it into a freshly sanitized and dry mason jar. 

I don't know how this will hold up when the temperature is over 75 but for right now it's quite magnificent. I'm in love and it couldn't have been easier! I love coconut oil but I got a better result by not using it this go 'round. The beeswax was a game changer as well.

Do you have an amazing body butter recipe you want to share with me? Ummm, then do it.

Any recommendations for essential oil combinations? I always get stumped there!



PS I know these aren't the best photos on the planet but I decided if I don't start using my phone pics I'll never, ever blog. I just don't like breaking out my camera enough. 

Thursday, February 6, 2014